Tuesday, 10 January 2012

New Year... New Outlook

I have been awful at blogging, I just get that caught up in things I don't get chance to come and write how I'm feeling. 
From the title this post is going to be on my outlook on what 2012 is going to be like for me with Fibromyalgia and for the first time a rather positive post!

Christmas is always a tough time for me as the Christmas presents shopping is just a nightmare for me as I can't walk round the shops for hours to try and find the perfect presents. This year online shopping was my life saver, I did it all online and in advance which relieved a lot of the stress of Christmas.
However, the Christmas nights out and just the general doing more with friends and family was very hard for me. I have been struggling a lot the past few weeks with having no energy to do anything. Luckily I was able to have some time off work due to the bank holidays to be able to recover, but it will always put a downer on the festive period for me as I have to constantly battle with my Fibromyalgia to enjoy the things everyone else can do without the worry of it tiring them out too much or how much pain it will cause the next day.

Over the festive period I also had other problems such as suffering from a bad case of flu and had a very bad bladder infection that lasted a few weeks. But these are common in FM sufferers so I am used to having the urge to pee! (just trying to be completely honest!).

I have also been suffering very bad mood swings, which literally would flip at any point. I noticed they were also a lot more severe than usual. When packing for new years eve away I was hitting the door and shouting at my mum just because she asked me if I was fake tanning before I leave or when I get there? Crazy I know!

How my 2012 has started...

I celebrated entering the new year in Leeds with the other half, my brother and some very good friends which was nice to get away from home. But yet again all that was in the back of my mind was 'OUCH!'. I drove up which was a two hour drive so that straight away left me very achy and tired which for me is never a good start, but taking pain killers before going out is the norm for me. The walking, queuing, dancing and just partying was definitely all too much for me the next day as I was ridiculously tired and in agony but me being me, I hid it. I didn't complain or moan I just got on with it even though every step I took my legs would throb and feel like they were going to give up on me, I had to fight to keep my eyes open as I had no energy left in me. Everyone was complaining of hangovers but a Subway soon cured that for them where as I knew I'd be feeling these effects for days.

Over the past couple of months I have had a lot of reality checks when it comes to my future. I have always believed that I would train to be an accountant and that is the career I would do. Due to my Fibromyalgia I was unable to work full time as I was in too much pain and physically didn't have the energy. Also working in a stressful office dealing with customers has shown me this is not the environment I want to work in as stress increases the severity of my pain. 
After long hard chats with my parents we decided a change of career choice would be best for me which is a very scary prospect as I have been so sure I'd be an accountant. Something that doesn't involve too much of a physical aspect and can be done part time without the stress of working in an office. I have always had a passion for nails and experimenting with nail polish's and nail art. I do get a lot of comments on my nails, where did you get them done? what nail polish is that? etc. So I have enrolled on a nail technicians course and this is the career I am now going to have a go at. I feel at the moment nothing is certain for me as I don't know what's around the corner when living with such a unreliable chronic illness.

So please if anyone is a nail technician with Fibromyalgia or a similar condition any tips or advice would be very much appreciated!!

My new years resolution is to try to think more positive. With a chronic pain disorder its hard to think positive as everything takes much more effort than it would for a healthy person, so it is easy to slip back and think negative and expect bad things but for 2012 I am going to try to stop that.
I am thinking I have a new start with a new career ahead and hopefully this will reflect on my mood and my outlook on things which will help prevent my symptoms getting worse.

So best start now...
BRING ON 2012!!

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