If you have been reading my past posts you will know that I was soon to be unemployed. Well, a lot has happened since then. I handed my notice in four weeks ago and today was actually supposed to be my last day. After my section manager read my quite nasty resignation letter about how they have mistreated me (someone with a disability) she was very annoyed that this was aloud to happen. She has now managed to find me another job in the company but in a different department doing basic admin work that sounds perfect for me, even though it's only temporary until the end of the year. But it's better than having no job!
So my advice to anyone going through what I went through with your team leader claiming they can't help you, you should always go higher because at the end of the day they're not always trained to know how to deal with disabled employees. Lets just say he should be getting a very stern talking to from his boss!
As I thought I was leaving and after being sick of being treated unfairly by my team leader I was suffering with stress, anxiety and could feel a panic attack coming on at the thought of having to go back to work and see my team leader. So my doctor signed me off work until what was supposed to be the end of my notice. This means I haven't been in work for the past three weeks. And just my luck I had the worst week Fibromyalgia wise I've ever had and that is an understatement.
I was experiencing pain in new places which I didn't even think was possible to have pain. I felt like my bones were hurting as well as my muscles and ligaments. I was struggling to lift my arms up and this is what I found hard to deal with the most as I've never had pain that severe in my arms before. I couldn't lift the milk or the kettle, so making my own breakfast was out the window. I couldn't wash my hair myself so queue the mother. She had to wash and dry my hair for me. I was struggling to drive so for the first time in years I was asking my parents for lifts. I just felt like I was loosing my independence. All I kept thinking was is this going to be it from now on, is this what my pain level is now going to be. So I was so upset, everyday I woke up and I was no better I'd just cry thinking this is what it's going to be like everyday.The only medication I found would take the edge of was Ibuprofen, so I was dosed up on that daily taking it constantly as soon as it had hit four hours since my last dose. This went on for a good two weeks. I struggled to do anything.
Luckily it was just a very bad attack and I slowly started to feel better. Having the movement back in my arms was the best feeling in the world. As much as I'm hateful towards my Fibromyalgia I am so grateful it didn't stay that severe. However, I could have a bad attack like that again at any time. That's the worst thing about the illness, how much of a roller-coaster it is. One day you can see me and I'll be having a good day so I'll look fine, but the next I could have a bad day and be crippled in pain. Baring in mind, you won't see me on my bad days because I'm more than likely going to be in bed or staying as far away from public places as possible.
My favourite quote: I may not look sick, but you don't look stupid.
On Saturday 12th May is Fibromyalgia Awareness Day, please just take a moment to think how it would feel to have an illness so painful, so tiring and so depressing but no one could see, understand or even help. To everyone else you looked normal.